


5+1 Times Kuroko Broke Character

by TheSmellOfOldBooks



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Explicit Language, GoM - Freeform, Humor, Kinda, Kuroko Tetsuya-centric, Kuroko is scary, M/M, Mild Angst, Mild Sexual Content, No one has sex, Protective Generation of Miracles, They just think about it, in like one line
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 00:36:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19140070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSmellOfOldBooks/pseuds/TheSmellOfOldBooks
Summary: 5 times Kuroko broke character and the 1 time everyone realised that it's not breaking character. Kuroko's just scary.(There's no particular timeline it just happens whenever. So in a way, it's not canon compliant.)





	5+1 Times Kuroko Broke Character

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this cause I really enjoyed writing this.

1.

 

“Kise-kun, please sign this for me!”

 

“Me too! Me too!”

 

“Hey, I got here first!”

 

“Kise-kun, you look so handsome today!”

 

“Kise-kun, will you go out with me?”

 

Kuroko let out a small sigh as he observed his friend’s piteous state. He should’ve known better than to accept Kise’s invite to get a milkshake. Public places and famous models just don’t mix well. As the crowd began to grow bigger, Kise shot Kuroko a pleading look. Sighing, Kuroko decided to take pity on him and started moving closer to Kise. It helped that the crowd naturally pushed him towards the centre.

 

When Kuroko finally reached Kise’s side, he looped his arms around Kise’s waist and coughed a few times. The fangirls immediately quietened as their eyes widened at the scene. Kuroko spoke a polite request, “Please refrain from bothering Kise-kun. We are just trying to enjoy our day together.” Spluttering broke through the crowd as they entered different states of disbelief. Some of them were just blatantly pointing at Kuroko’s arm while others were so dazed that they took to miming the action wishing that they were there instead of Kuroko.

 

A sudden exclamation flew through the air, “Who do you think you are that you can so proudly stand at Kise-kun’s side?” The girl who shouted looked rather bold. That is inaccurate. The girl who shouted looked rather like Kise. That’s better. She had yellow hair, clearly dyed, that was cropped just like Kise’s and equally yellow eyes that were also just like Kise’s. The only feature separating them was her _very_ womanly figure. Kuroko had to blink a few times to make sure he wasn’t in one of Aomine’s wet dreams.

 

Once he regained his bearings, he answered, “Well for one, I’m the only person in the crowd who has what Kise needs.” He widens his stance to further clarify his point. The girl fumbled, unsure of what to say to Kuroko’s blunt answer. She stuttered, “You’re just using him for fame!” Kuroko raised an eyebrow in challenge, “If I were using him for fame then this situation would be highly unlikely, seeing as all of you have no clue as to who I am. So, using him for fame? No. Using him for something else?” Kuroko let his eyes rove across Kise’s body, “Perhaps.”

 

At this point, everybody has gone red and most have left out of embarrassment. The blond girl who was so bold before started to tremble. When Kuroko started to lower his hand from Kise’s waist to his ass, she immediately turned and walked away. A few moments passed and the entire crowd has dissipated, save for one girl. Her features were composed, the only tell-tale sign of embarrassment being the tips of her ears. She asked, as quietly as possible, “So are the two of you dating?” Kuroko schooled his expression and removed his arm, “That’s preposterous. As if he’s worth my time.”

 

With that, he walked towards one of the seats, ignoring the girl’s widened eyes. Kise trailed behind him whining, “Kurokocchi! How could you say that?” Kuroko decided to ignore him as well and sat down. Pouting, Kise occupied the opposite seat, “You don’t mean that, right? You like spending time with me, right?” Kuroko gazed at him, “You owe me a year’s worth of vanilla milkshakes. Perhaps you would like to start repaying your debt now, Kise-kun.” Kise wailed some more before finally giving in and going to get Kuroko a milkshake. The pout never left his face.

 

2.

 

Kuroko watched the scene with disapproval. They have just finished going through college applications together, seeing as they only have about a year of high school left. It had gotten quite late so Kuroko had offered to get a taxi together instead of walking home. Midorima had declined, leaving Kuroko to believe that Midorima had his own mode of transport. Well, he wasn’t entirely wrong. The moment they had stepped out of the café, Takao had pulled in with the rickshaw behind him.

It was still winter, making the night unbearably cold. Kuroko looked towards the road and it was laden with ice. There was no way the rickshaw would be safe. Takao didn’t show any signs of protest but Kuroko found that more likely to be due to his massive crush on Midorima. Takao waved at them and Kuroko had to resist the urge facepalm; he wasn’t even wearing gloves. Sighing, he voiced his concerns, “Midorima-kun, perhaps the rickshaw isn’t such a good idea. Let’s all hail a taxi instead.”

 

Midorima scoffed, “Don’t worry, Kuroko. It is simply his turn to bike the rickshaw.” Kuroko let his gaze rest on Midorima, “I have yet to see a time when Takao-kun isn’t the one manning the rickshaw, I’m not concerned about that.” Midorima turned back to the rickshaw, “Then there’s no problem. Goodnight, Kuroko.” Kuroko continued, “I am, however, concerned with the time and weather. How could you make Takao-kun come to fetch you at close to 10 pm in the dead of winter?”

 

Midorima replied, unfazed, “We’ll be fine, don’t worry.” Kuroko sighed once again and walked over to Takao, “He doesn’t even have gloves on. Could you please take better care of your boyfriend?” As Midorima’s protests filled the air, he took off his own gloves and wore them on Takao’s hands. Face red, Midorima coughed, “Takao is not my boyfriend.” Kuroko ignored him, “Takao-kun, how can you put up with such a ridiculous person, let alone date him?”

 

Takao appeared to be amused by the development of the conversation. He let his fingers stretch into the gloves and giggled to himself when they obviously couldn’t fit. He looked at Kuroko and replied, “Ah, I’m used to it. Shin-chan’s a total tsundere. He’s super boyfriend material when we’re alone.” Further protests filled the air. Takao eyed Midorima from the corner of his eye, “He’s not really being boyfriend material now, though.” He looked back to Kuroko with a glint in his eye, “You, on the other hand.”

 

Kuroko felt a blush form across his cheeks. Takao’s giggle proved his hypothesis correct. Midorima continued letting out protests, although what for, they were no longer quite sure. Takao grinned suddenly, “Say, Tet-chan, have you ever been on a rickshaw before?” Kuroko shook his head lightly. Takao exclaimed, “Well now is high time to try! Get in, I’ll bring you home.” Kuroko seemed unsure of what to do but with Takao’s further ushering, he had no choice but to get in.

 

Takao merrily hopped on and started pedalling away yelling out a, “Bye, Shin-chan!” over his shoulder as they left. Kuroko finally spared a glance at Midorima and he couldn’t say that the sight wasn’t amusing. Midorima’s jaw was slack and his finger remained pointed at them even as they got further away. Letting an amused huff pass his lips, he raised his hand and gave Midorima a little goodbye wave as well.

 

3.

 

_Stupid Akashi Seijuuro, thinking he can just order people around. He’s just so annoying with his stupid pretty face and his stupid perfect body. Of course, I would need the vanilla milkshakes. If not, I would just start thinking about sucking on other things instead and that wouldn’t be great during practice. Why does he have to be so annoying? “No more vanilla milkshakes, Tetsuya.” “They're making you slow, Tetsuya.” “I am absolute, Tetsuya.”_

“How about you shove a shoe up your mouth, Bakashi.”

 

“Pardon?”

 

Kuroko whipped around so quickly that he almost fell over. It was only thanks to Akashi grasping his arm at the last moment that he wasn’t sprawled across the ground. He immediately retracted his wrist from Akashi’s hand, trying his best to keep his dignity intact, “It was nothing, Akashi-kun.” Akashi raised an eyebrow, “I do not appreciate being lied to, Tetsuya.” Kuroko’s eyebrow twitched against his will. A smile toyed at Akashi’s lips. He definitely noticed Kuroko’s discomfort.

 

“If I’m not mistaken, you apparently want me to eat a shoe?” Kuroko tried his best not to huff. Keyword being tried. “Yes, I want you to eat as many shoes as possible then maybe at some point you would stop being such a pompous ass.” Akashi’s eyebrows might as well have hit the ceiling, “Let me get this straight,” Kuroko nodded, “You skipped practice and now instead of begging for forgiveness, you are cursing me?” Kuroko coughed and hesitantly nodded.

 

Akashi clucked his tongue, “That is hardly acceptable. Clearly those milkshakes you’ve been drinking are muddling your mind.” That managed to get Kuroko going, “Those milkshakes are fine. The problem is your nagging during practices.” Akashi sighed, “It’s for your health, Tetsuya. You aren’t getting any nutrition from those milkshakes and they really do affect your stamina.” Kuroko almost growled, “If you’re concerned for my health then you should remove yourself from practices instead of the milkshakes.”

 

Akashi tilted his head just a little, “Please elaborate.” And elaborate he did, “If it wasn’t for you looking that good all the time then I wouldn’t be drinking all those milkshakes! I drink them as a distraction from you!” Akashi blinked. He was not expecting that. “So, you find my face and body to be too distracting?” Kuroko’s face reddened when he finally caught up with his own outburst. He couldn’t think of an adequate reply. “I don’t like to be kept waiting, Tetsuya.” Kuroko’s eyes hardened again, “Yes! Alright? Yes, I find you stupidly distracting. I hate you, Akashi-kun!”

 

A dangerous glint entered Akashi’s eyes. He licked his lips, “Tetsuya, have you perhaps considered that your dislike towards me could be the exact opposite?” Kuroko glared at him, “Of course I have.” Akashi silently prompted Kuroko to go on. Kuroko’s glare sharpened, “Of course I like Akashi-kun.” A smile spread across Akashi’s face, “Then it’s settled. We will go on a date.” Kuroko turned away, “No.” Akashi’s expression darkened once again, “You shall not defy me. I am absolute.” Kuroko glared at Akashi over his shoulder, “Even an emperor would bow to his empress’s orders.” With that, Kuroko stomped away and Akashi didn’t know whether to feel defeated or elated.

 

4.

 

“Kuro-chin… Can we stop playing? It’s so boring.” Kuroko didn’t even glance at Murasakibara, “You can step aside on your own, Murasakibara-kun. I intend to keep practicing.” Murasakibara whined, “But Aka-chin said I couldn’t stop practicing until Kuro-chin stops.” Kuroko sighed, “That is a problem that you can resolve by talking to Akashi-kun, not to me.” There were a few moments of blessed silence then Kuroko’s world flipped upside down.

 

Kuroko grunted, “Murasakibara-kun, let me off your shoulder.” There was no reply. Instead, they began moving towards the bleachers. Deciding to take action, Kuroko pinched Murasakibara’s waist and twisted. With a loud yelp, he threw Kuroko off of him and attempted to soothe his side. Kuroko landed rather unflatteringly on his ass, “Perhaps gentler next time.” Murasakibara pouted, “Kuro-chin let’s rest.” Kuroko rolled his eyes, “Just talk to Akashi-kun. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

 

“Aka-chin is scary.” Kuroko ignored him. Murasakibara further annoyed him, “Kuro-chin, come on. Stop practicing.” This continued with Kuroko studiously ignoring him. After about ten minutes of this on loop, though, he was starting to get a headache. Panting from shooting so many times, he requested, “Murasakibara-kun, please stop talking. I’m tired and now a headache is beginning to form.” The effect was immediate as Murasakibara instantly quietened down. That didn’t stop him from using other methods.

 

Just as Kuroko attempted to make another basket, Murasakibara appeared in front of him, effectively blocking the entire hoop from view. Kuroko sighed and retracted from his shooting pose, “Please move away.” He did not. Kuroko raised his voice, “Please stop being annoying. Some of us have to work in order to play.” Murasakibara took offence, “Why do you even practice so much Kuro-chin? No matter how much you practice you’ll never be on the same level as us.”

 

The ball dropped from Kuroko’s hands, “Because I love basketball,” he looked into Murasakibara’s eyes, “You need to love basketball to play.” Murasakibara growled, “This is why I don’t like basketball. There’s always so many people who try so hard and yet it’s pointless. I want to crush all of them.” Usually Kuroko would be nonchalant, used to Murasakibara’s antics. He didn’t feel like being nice today, “If you don’t like basketball but you’re good at it then good for you. But how can you stand here and shame the people who try? If not for those who try to play then what will be left? It will be a court with just you and a basket. Basketball would not be game anymore.”

 

Murasakibara pouted, “It was never a game.” A sudden darkness crowded Kuroko, Murasakibara noticed and took a step back, “Kuro-chin, you’re reminding me of Aka-chin.” Kuroko’s gaze was cold as he spoke, “I don’t understand you, Murasakibara-kun.” He walked over to the bleachers, “There are so many others who deserve what you have.” He knocked over the benches, “And yet they have to struggle and watch people like you.” His gaze was sharp as he eyed the snacks that were scattered on the floor. Murasakibara watched in stunned silence as Kuroko began trampling on all of them, crushing every last pack. Kuroko’s eyes caught his, “This is what you make people feel like.” A whimper was the only reply Murasakibara could offer.

 

5.

 

“Aomine-kun, please put that down. It is unsightly.” Aomine yawned, “Don’t worry about it, Tetsu. The people here are used to it.” Kuroko pressed the magazine down, “That’s because you’re here too much.” Aomine rolled his eyes, “I practically buy their kitchen out every day, the least they can do is let me enjoy my magazine in peace.” Kuroko sighed, “If it were a normal magazine, sure. Aomine-kun you are reading porn in the middle of a crowded restaurant.”

 

They had just finished practice a while ago and decided to grab dinner together. It hadn’t even been a minutes since they sat down and Aomine already had the latest gravure magazine in hand. It was an unforeseen but in hindsight, predictable, circumstance. As Kuroko took a closer look at the front page, he almost snorted. The model was basically Kise but as a girl. He paused and took a clearer look of her face. It couldn’t be but Kuroko swore it was Kise’s fangirl from the other day.

 

Aomine glanced up and smirked, “You have no right to talk, Tetsu. You’re boring holes through the magazine.” Kuroko looked up, impassive, “I was merely wondering why she looked so much like Kise-kun.” Aomine scoffed, “What are you talking about?” He flipped the magazine over and his eyes widened. A sudden wave of uncontrollable coughing overtook Aomine and Kuroko had to do his best not to laugh. When his coughing subdued, he grumbled, “Whatever, man. I bought the magazine for Mai-chan. Not this, whoever she is.”

 

Aomine lifted the magazine further to inspect the model, “How does she even look so much like Kise?” The neighbouring patrons started shooting affronted looks towards them and Kuroko could feel his cheeks redden. He mumbled, “Perhaps you could consider not doing that,” The dumbest expression possible crossed Aomine’s face as he let out a rather unintelligent, “Hah?” Kuroko grumbled, pulling Aomine’s arms back onto the table, “There are children who are staring right at us because of your magazine.”

 

Aomine simply shrugged, “Let them learn early. They’ll have to know eventually.” As another woman shot them a disapproving glare, Kuroko finally had enough. He grabbed the magazine and threw it out the window. Aomine shrieked and tried to grab it but it was too late, “Tetsu, that was limited edition!” Kuroko’s deemed the only suitable reaction to be kicking Aomine in the balls. A second later, Aomine was whimpering in pain and Kuroko was sipping on his milkshake. “When did you even get that?” Kuroko shrugged.

 

+1

 

The Sun was up and the sky was blue. It was the perfect day topped with an amazing game they just finished playing. All of them were packing up, getting ready to go grab some food. Kuroko bent over to pick up the basketball when a pair of shoes crowded his vision. He looked up towards the owner, failing to recognise the person. The stranger started talking, “I saw you guys playing just now. They are the Generation of Miracles right?” Kuroko nodded. The stranger sneered, “I suppose you are the proclaimed phantom sixth man?” Kuroko shrugged.

 

The stranger scoffed, “Well let me tell you this. You’re not good enough for all the praise you get, let alone being considered one of the Miracles. I saw you play just now and man, even I could do better.” This got the attention of the rest of the team. Midorima glared at the intruder. He supposed that the intruder was a Scorpio, Scorpio did not have good chemistry with Aquarius that day. Murasakibara didn’t have an obvious reaction but he had stopped chewing, which meant a lot. Aomine and Kise both had similar looks of disbelief painted across their faces. As for Akashi, death was radiating off of him, wave after wave.

 

Kise spoke up first, “Hey! Who do you think you are to be talking to Kurokocchi like that?” Stranger glanced towards Kise, “Oh, come on. You guys must be thinking the exact same thing. This guy just sucks.” Aomine growled, “He’s the reason we can get through all the matches no sweat. You can fuck off, alright.” Stranger rolled his eyes and took the basketball out of Kuroko’s hands, “Why are you guys protecting him?” He threw the basketball towards Kuroko who caught it deftly. Stranger smirked, “I just demonstrated the full extent of his abilities in that one move.” Murasakibara-kun squeezed his umaibo so tightly that it now resembled goo. Stranger lost just a bit of his cockiness when he saw that.

 

He let out an awkward cough and looked back to Kuroko. His eyes widened when he saw that the usual blankness was replaced by a gaze full of disgust and scrutiny. Kuroko started bouncing the basketball, “I’m afraid you’re a little behind record if you think that is my only skill. I suggest that you stop bothering us.” Kuroko scoffed, “Although, I suppose after this you won’t have much choice.” Before he could even ask what Kuroko meant, the basketball had flew into his stomach, knocking all the air out of him.

 

He fell to the ground, groaning in pain. Kuroko knelt next to him, lowering his face to hover just an inch above the stranger, “At least I have the sense to hide my flaws, you’re just a bundle of mistakes and catastrophe.” Grabbing the basketball, Kuroko stood up, “And suppose I wasn’t considered to be part of the Generation of Miracles. You would be far from replacing me.” With that, he turned towards his teammates, feeling just a little smug as he assessed the shock on their faces. He schooled his expression back to blankness, “Let’s go get some milkshakes.” The rest could only dazedly nod.

 

Except Akashi, he was still having some trouble controlling the nosebleed he received from watching the entire scene. Perhaps his version of eroticism is a little different from others.

 

+2

“Hey guys, Kurokocchi is actually quite scary isn’t he?”

 

“Nah, I think Tetsu’s just out of it today. The guy was unlucky.”

 

“No, I think Kuro-chin is scary too. Especially after that one time he stepped on all my snacks.”

 

“He did what now?”

 

“He stole Takao away from me once as well. Definitely scary.”

 

“So, you’re admitting Takao is yours?”

 

“N-no way!”

 

“Now that you mention it, Tetsu did throw my magazine out the window once just because I refused to put it down.”

 

“Kurokocchi managed to scare away a whole horde of my fangirls once. He even grabbed my ass while doing it.”

 

“Tetsuya did _what_?”

 

“Akashicchi! Ah, don’t worry about it! It’s nothing!”

 

“You are no longer allowed near Tetsuya. There’s no negotiation. My orders are absolute.”

 

“Ehhhh!”

**Author's Note:**

> I DID NOT MEAN TO MAKE KUROKO BE SO MEAN TO ATSUSHI OMG. I got carried away with the character, my apologies for hurting Murasakibara like that. Anyways, PLEASE COMMENT <3


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